The Milk of Human Kindness

The writer Henry James once said to his young nephew,"There are only three things important in human life: be kind, be kind, be kind." If only life was that easy.  Here is a story that should make us think about the ways in which kindness can come in unexpected ways: British statesman and financier Cecil Rhodes, whose fortune was used to endow the world-famous Rhodes Scholarships, was apparently a stickler for correct dress -- but not at the expense of someone else's feelings. A young man who was invited to dine with Rhodes arrived by train and had to go directly to Rhodes's home in his ruffled and travel-stained clothes. Once there, he was deeply embarrassed to find that all the other guests were already assembled, wearing full evening dress and looking immaculate. After what seemed a long time Rhodes appeared, clad in a shabby old blue suit. Later the young man learned that his host had also been dressed in evening clothes, but put on the old suit when he heard of his young guest's dilemma and wanted to put him at ease.

How many of us would have had the foresight - or even courage - to act kindly in this way?  Stories like this are always heartening. It is always good to see emotional intelligence at work; people spontaneously abandoning  the rules and conventions to come alongside others and meet them in their need, their awkwardness or embarrassment in order to make them feel good. It goes without saying that human kindness is so central to the living out of the Christian life. So much is said about this; is there anything more that can be said? We need to be reminded that kindness is - or can be - loaded with different motivations. It is not always clear that acts of benevolence or compassion are undertaken selflessly.  Human nature makes it far more complicated than that.

The Bible is of course, steeped in teachings about kindness, but in the book of the prophet Micah we begin to get a very deep insight into its true spiritual nature.
In Chapter 6:8 we hear: "He has told you O Mortal what is good; and what does the Lord require of you but justice and to love kindness and to walk humbly with your God?"

So we are not just called to be kind, but to "love kindness". The Hebrew word for kindness is chesed. Chesed is a central Jewish value and leads to many particular commandments. It is at the heart of Jewish ethics and Jewish theology. But like so many Hebrew words that we encounter in Scripture, it is inclined to lose something in translation. They may have many shades of meaning and the nuances of the word chesed are no exception; the meanings are not easy to pin down in English. The word is often found in association with the word 'covenant' and it is variously translated as "mercy", "loving-kindness", "loyalty" and "grace", although none of these fully embrace its true meaning. Biblical scholars say that chesed is consistently used in a situation when someone is incapable of helping themselves and events dictate that the help of another is essential; It is also used when circumstances dictate that one person (perhaps just by virtue of being the only person present) is uniquely able to provide the help that is needed and the potential helper can choose whether to help or not. And chesed is used when no reward of any kind is expected for the helpers actions.

It sounds like this one word is the mandate for the true Christian life. Its meaning is rich. It can be seen as a faithful kindness, but it is not a mushy, emotional kindness, associated with feelings that come and go depending on our moods. It represents a kind of deep commitment and a deep affection and it particularly extends to the poor and needy. Of course, there are times when kindness is not always what it seems.
Apparent acts of benevolence can simply be a subterfuge to get what we want – a way to curry favour in order to get something to our own advantage out of a person or a situation (and subliminally, this probably happens more than we realise!). Kindness can be just a shallow cover-up for the real issues. As someone has put it pertinently: "kindness can be a pious jam over the bitter bread of injustice".

But most of the time we do give generously of time and money to help others who have nowhere else to turn. I try to give generously where I can, but I also have other agendas and distractions. We all do. Part of us is kind. Part of us is not. Of course, it is not possible to give of oneself so generously to everybody in need. Some Christians have tried to do this but it only leads to burnout and we all have our physical and mental limitations. But kindness remains or essential calling. Just recently we have seen anarchy in our streets which seems quite antithetical to any notion of compassion or kindness and respect for the needs of others.  But as so often happens at a time of catastrophe, the better part of human nature steps to the fore. Paradoxically - as so often happens after a catastrophe – people rally round to help and give generously of their time. People who had never even spoken to each other within their local communities have been putting themselves out to help others; giving their time freely to put lives back together and rebuild homes and businesses.

The milk of human kindness really can come to sustain us when we need it most.

There are times when it needs to be a gentle touch - warm and reassuring words of comfort perhaps or a lift home with heavy shopping. But sometimes kindness comes across as soft and sentimental, when what people really need is firmness, a line drawn in the sand, or what we now tend to call "tough love." So we can exercise kindness in many forms and in directions. Yes we may help others who need our help because we have an obligation to do so but do we act kindly because we love doing it?

Micah speaks not just of being kind but of the need to love kindness. Micah speaks of walking humbly with God. Here, humility is understood as sacrificing oneself self to listen to the needs of others and the desires of God. He speaks of Justice, not in the narrow legalistic sense that we always tend to want to understand it now, but moving far beyond the requirements of law. This is social justice - working for the little people of our society – the poor, the needy, the weak and the oppressed so that they are treated fairly. Kindness is central to this vision. It is the refusal to see people only in the present tense, but to see them in the light of God, in terms of helping to recreate their lives.

As Christians, we have what some might call an "alternative imagination." That is, we have the ability to imagine a future different from, and better than, the present world in which we live. We envisage the world as it ought to be, rather than merely as it is.

Chesed is at the heart of this vision. It has to be integral to our spiritual life – present and future; it is something that is taken into the very fibre of our being. It creates an orientation that causes us to look beyond our individuality and to see ourselves as part of something much larger. What will ultimately endure is our chesed. We need to learn to not just be kind but to love kindness...to love chesed...to love helping, to love giving and to love sharing. When we do good things in the true spirit of chesed, then we might dare to think we are walking humbly with our God.